Performing for an audience of One

Who are some of the audiences for whom we feel the pressure to perform?  Given these pressures, how can students perform for an audience of one?

We feel pressure to perform for so many different people. Our parents, our families, friends, professors, church leaders, peers, ourselves...so many people seem to expect so much from us. By now, we’ve all figured out it’s impossible to please everyone. Parents expect good grades and chores done. Families expect time set aside for them and birthday party attendance. Friends expect bonding time and weekend trips. Professors expect A material and fully present students. Church leaders expect examples worth following and thoughtfully planned small group discussions. Peers expect normality and fashion sense. ALL of these audiences seem to expect full devotion to what they want for you and from you. We expect ourselves to meet all of these expectations, while somehow getting a healthy amount of food, sleep, and time with God. Living with the pressure of pleasing everyone weighs down on every aspect of our lives. Performing for an audience of One truly lessens the pressure to perform. Sure, sometimes we forget that God has promised us rest in Him, and we get caught up in trying to be the best for everyone else. But He allows us to find peace in His strengths. When we stop worrying about doing things as a result of our own strength, it becomes much easier to rely on God alone. Knowing He makes all things work together for the good of us who love Him is enough to free us from stress, if even just a little. 

Thought Questions

1. What are some daily routines you could change to redirect your focus from performing for the rest of the world to pleasing an audience of One?

2. Is it sinful to worry about pleasing others before God?

Letter to Successful Person

      Dearest best friend,

               You probably don’t even know the impact you’ve had on me. I know I don’t tell you this enough, but I really, sincerely admire you.

               In high school, we weren’t really close at all, but you were always that girl everyone knew. Super involved, school spirited, gorgeous, smart, a great Christian, and a shining personality. You’ve always seemed to have a lot going for you, even before I really knew you.

               This summer, we got the chance to actually get to know each other by being leaders of a small group together, and I am so thankful for that time. Even though I’m in Siloam Springs now, while you’re still in Fort Smith, we’ve somehow managed to get even closer since I’ve been at school. I always think of Philippians 1:3, “I thank my God every time I remember you,” because I legitimately do. I thank God for our friendship every day. 

               You don’t even consider yourself to be extremely successful..not in a low self-esteem type way, just in a broken before God, imperfect kind of way...which just makes you that much more successful. You’re one of those people who is great at nearly everything you do, but every rare time you do fail, you get back up. 

               I know you don’t feel like you’re making much of a difference in the small group anymore because our kids are so hard-headed, but just remember they’re only sophomores. If I think about my immaturity and the stupid choices I was making at their age, I understand where they’re coming from. Just remember Galatians 6:9, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” I know you won’t give up on them. You’re doing a great job, even without me there to help. 

              I just want to say thank you so much for being a great friend. You are “successful” because you seek God’s will above your own. You carry a lot on your shoulders and still manage to be an amazing person and friend. I know I can always come to you with anything, and vice versa. Thanks for basically being in a long-distance relationship with me...our nightly phone calls are my favorite. You’re the only friend from home that I feel like I actually still have a healthy growing friendship with. I love you!

                                                          Emily :)

Thought Questions
1. Explain if "successfulness" in the world's eyes the same as in God's eyes.
2. Does successfulness come from our own efforts?  Explain.

Change, Desire, & Story

After reading Chapter 8, tell me: what do you want? Based on Chapter 13, ambition defines all stories. What is your ambition, your pursuit?

What do I want? I want to bring people to Jesus. I want to be successful. I want to make a difference. I want to travel. I want to hold orphan babies. I want to feed children. I want to save children from sex trafficking. I want to minister to people who won't know God otherwise. I want to adopt. I want to fall in love. I want a family. I want an army of people in heaven because of me. I want my first response to be looking at Jesus. I want to stand up every time I fall. I want a lot of things.

What is my pursuit? Simple. I want to live a life worth living. There will be plenty of things that when I'm old I will look back and think, wow..I shouldn't have done that. I know this. I accept this. But I want to look back with no regrets anyway. I don't want to have a list of things I should've done. I want people to know God through the way I love. I want the capacity to love endlessly. My ambition is to love God and love people. I fail at this constantly, but thankfully I have an unchanging God. My ambition is to serve Him and only Him.

Thought Questions

1. What is the difference between a "want" and an "ambition?"

2. As Christians, why is it important to recognize our wants and ambitions?

After reading Chapter 12, reflect on change. You have changed since you came to JBU: this is inevitable, because you are adapting to new experiences, and are on a new journey. Reflect on yourself and describe how you have changed within the past month.

One month ago, I was somewhat dreading coming to JBU. This summer, I served my church by leading a small group of high school sophomores. From May, when the group formed, to August, when I was about to leave, I got closer to this group than I ever dreamed I would. In just three months, I had gone from a stranger to these kids' advice columnist, personal chauffeur, and most importantly, spiritual big sister. I felt like I was actually making a difference, a feeling I had been craving for some time. I was also getting closer and closer to the group's under shepherds the closer I got to leaving for school. A week or so before ERP, it got to the point where I was reconsidering my decision to come here. I was torn. I didn't understand WHY God would put me in a group just to take me away from it. It didn't feel fair for the kids, the other leaders, and definitely not for me. I considered staying at the University of Arkansas- Fort Smith, which I had never once considered when I turned down my full-ride there just weeks before. The closer school got, the less sure I was I wanted to come. I had fun at ERP, but I felt completely torn between two places. God had so much for me in Fort Smith. Leaving was unimaginable. Nonetheless, I moved in here on August 19th. After just days of being here, my uneasiness was put to rest. God re-confirmed that this was where He wanted me all along. Although I don't always understand His plan, don't agree with it, and sometimes think He is unfair, I realized that Gods plan will always prevail over my own. I don't have to understand what He's doing. It may feel like chaos, but I believe He's always up to something beyond my understanding. He makes all things work together for my good! I've always known this as a basic truth, but since I've been here, I have found such great peace in it. The God of the Universe is interceding on my behalf, bending and breaking me, pushing me out of my comfort zones, therefore multiplying my growth through all this newness of college. I am slowly but surely realizing my life isn't about me. God told Jacob to leave his home and go to a strange new place. He told him not to be afraid and said "I will make you great there." Trusting God is not questioning His ability to take care of me; it's finding peace in His promise to make me great wherever He sends me. God is great, and He lives in me, so through Him alone, I will be great.

Thought Questions

1. What might my life look like if I had stayed at UAFS instead of come to JBU?

2. Why is it important to recognize change within ourselves?

Movie/Memories

    If my life were a movie, the main story would be surrounding my love story with Jesus. Cheesy, but true. Our relationships has had its ups and down, as any relationship does. I’ve had doubts, I’ve been stagnant and apathetic, but His love has never changed. I have grown. Honestly, if my life were a movie, I might actually want to watch it. It seems to unfold the way many movies do. Introduction of self, conflicts (many), exposition of my life [rising action], climax, falling action, and eventually my resolution will be complete when I meet Jesus face to face. If I could take out the less exciting parts of my every day life and put the cool parts on a silver screen, it would actually be pretty interesting.
    A single provoking/meaningful/memorable moment happened this summer... I went with my [now ex-] boyfriend to visit his grandfather in a nursing home. There wasn’t a lot of conversation going on in his grandpa’s room, just casual small talk; however, I will never forget the weight of the room I felt with my hand in one of Andrew’s, and his grandpa’s in the other. Andrew and his grandpa had been very close. He taught Andrew how to fish, as he had once been a national champion himself. Andrew had always admired him, but he now talks of him as if he has already passed on. When we went to see him, I saw firsthand what Andrew had been telling me about. His grandpa has what they believe to be early dementia or Alzheimer’s. Whatever the case, his grandpa can no longer function on his own. He can hardly form audible words. As I sat in the chair next to his bed, I knew I was meeting him for the first, and possibly last time, as well as being Andrew’s support as he watched his grandpa wither away. I cried several times throughout our hour-long visit, feeling the family’s pain. I watched as Andrew’s grandma cleaned out his grandpa’s mouth, walking back and forth between the restroom at least six times. Seeing the love she still obviously had for him is maybe the most inspiring, loving example of a relationship I have ever seen in real life. At one point, she sat at the end of his bed and started crying. She cried about how she hated to leave him... Not about the cards they had been dealt, or the way she had to serve him constantly. No, she cried about the fact that she was only allowed to visit from 7am to 7pm. She was only able to be at his side for twelve hours a day, and it was breaking her heart. As she excused herself to get a tissue, Andrew squeezed my hand and we looked at each other, teary-eyed. That day was one of the most difficult situations I have ever been in. Although Andrew and I’s relationship has recently fizzled out, I will never forget that day we shared with his sweet grandparents. I got to be his support system in a moment of vulnerability, rarely given freely by a guy like him. I also got to see the effects of the life-long, unfailing love shared by his grandparents. 
    Memories are made with uniqueness. Something has to really stand out to be something a person will go back and reflect on. Many memories are full of tenderness and vulnerability because most people have walls built up most of the time. Any time walls come down, others remember. Any time something significant and new comes into a person’s life, it is usually memorable; whether a first time experience or a new friendship... Things unusual to daily routines are worthy of remembering. 


Discussion Questions
1. Do you realize when memories are being made that will last a lifetime AS they are being made?
2. What is the difference between remembering something and having a memory?